I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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