My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
