I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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