i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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