I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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