Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
