do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
MIDGETS
????
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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