MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
