Is it because I queefed?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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