Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
