We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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