A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
