It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
