is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
