Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
