so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
