I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize