She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
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