i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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