p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
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I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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