I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
