is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
