wat bout pragnant strippers??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
dude. I can hear the air.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
