Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
