is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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