I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
