He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
