Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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