how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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