I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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