just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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