im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face