Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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(618): for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed. http://tfl.nu/1nkf

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(678): View more from Georgia

all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

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(678): all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night. http://tfl.nu/k3dk

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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(913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4

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(716): View more from New York

as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.

(1-716): View more from New York

momma always taught us never to change for a boy..

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(716): as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack. (1-716): momma always taught us never to change for a boy.. http://tfl.nu/3cjy

Replies (17) Good night (6252) Bad night (1075)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.

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(757): you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/qo45

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(510): View more from California

I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.

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(510): I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots. http://tfl.nu/tjxa

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.

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(919): So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma. http://tfl.nu/it54

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.

(917): View more from New York City

what ever happened to our old dealer?

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(973): I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day. (917): what ever happened to our old dealer? http://tfl.nu/28sz

Replies (1) Good night (2262) Bad night (802)
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(210): View more from Texas

Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute

(1-210): View more from Texas

Hello cirrhosis

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(210): Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute (1-210): Hello cirrhosis http://tfl.nu/bpcm

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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(201): I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/k100

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(703): View more from Virginia

Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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(703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag

Replies (5) Good night (1928) Bad night (579)
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(740): View more from Ohio

your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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(740): your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head. http://tfl.nu/v5j8

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(509): View more from Washington

Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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(509): Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life. http://tfl.nu/zh07

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(406): View more from Montana

Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.

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(406): Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor. http://tfl.nu/e8dt

Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (391)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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(860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx

Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt

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