So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?