On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.