i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
