it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
