Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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