i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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