Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
