worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
