Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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