last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.