Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
