So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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