I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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