At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
