I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
