What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize