You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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