Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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