No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
