So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize
