Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
