i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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