I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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