I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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