My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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