I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
