11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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