Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
