I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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