The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
