Someone shit on the floor
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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