i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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